


ghost of your love

by younghoed



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-26 17:24:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20030494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/younghoed/pseuds/younghoed
Summary: your loves have always been beautiful as a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.and it still alive.even after everything, Mingi stills can feel Hongjoong loves lingering around him





	ghost of your love

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based on 5sos's ghost of you, go listen to it while reading this :)

_7.00 a.m._

Mingi groans, while slowly opens his eyes after turning off his morning alarm. He really wants to sleep but he needs to get up so he can get ready for the day. As much as he wants to stay in the bed, today is also a very important day for him, and for Hongjoong. Usually, Hongjoong won’t let him get up too early. Both of them will end up cuddling for moments before both of them realized that adulthood suck and they need to get up and get ready for work. Mingi slowly turns to Hongjoong’s side of the bed.  
  
_“Good morning, Hongjoong.”_

Mingi softly said, with an affection. It usually follows along with a kiss on Hongjoong’s forehead but he can’t do that since a while ago. But Mingi still feels that Hongjoong is still sleeping beside him because the sun still shines with the joy and passion just like Hongjoong’s morning smiles and even during the rainy day, the rain still beats gently as Hongjoong’s humming voice. Mingi still can feel Hongjoong's warmth and faint smells of the lavender body butter that his lover loves to use before he goes to sleep. Calming. Just likes Hongjoong’s presence makes Mingi feel. Or felt. But_ feel_ is the word that Mingi chooses to use.

Mingi finally gets up and walks to the kitchen. He desperately needs his morning coffee. Especially today, because he knows so many things will happen, so many emotions he might deal later. He needs to face a lot of people that actually he doesn't care about. All of those people will give him all the heartfelt words, even the only word he wants to hear is from Hongjoong's dripping honey voice. He just wants to go back to his sleep and wrapped Hongjoong in his hugs. Mingi opens the cabinet and he smiles happily when he sees Hongjoong’s Minion mug that they bought at Universal Studios during their graduation trip. The mug is carefully placed on the lower cabinet so it will be easier for Hongjoong to reach it and Mingi never moved it, even though he knows Hongjoong can’t use it anymore. Mingi reaches for his usual Gryffindor mug that he also got during the same trip on the top of the cabinet and makes himself a coffee. This is maybe the first cup of coffee that he drinks in the comfort of his own home after a month, and it feels weird because usually, Hongjoong will be here with him too and both of them will eat their breakfast while talking about their life. Their happy laughs will usually fill the kitchen. That is why Mingi stops drinking his morning coffee at home, he usually will drive-thru to the nearest Starbucks because the silence and the loneliness haunt him. The silence is too loud that its deafening. Mingi can hear Hongjoong voices and laughs but he also can’t hear the voices of the person that he loves too much.

Mingi finally decided it’s time for him to get ready and pick the outfit that he will wear today. Although it is not that hard because Mingi knows what he should wear today. He carefully places the suit that he will wear today on the bed. Hongjoong loves when Mingi wears a suit.

_“If I have your height, I will wear suits every day!”_

Mingi always feels amused whenever Hongjoong said that because Hongjoong already wears a suit every day due to his job. Unlike Hongjoong who needs to wear a suit especially when he in the courtroom, the only times Mingi needs to wear a suit is when he has some special meeting or occasion. He usually only wears a shirt and tie to work because Mingi doesn’t need to wear suits in his workplace. Today will be the last day Hongjoong sees him wearing a suit, so Mingi makes sure that his suit is neat, his tie is not crooked. Usually, Hongjoong will help him with the tie, but for today Hongjoong will smile proudly when he knows Mingi can wear his suit properly without Hongjoong help. Mingi carefully hides the chain with a ring behind his shirt and looks at himself in the mirror. He rarely gets enough sleep for quite of times and he clearly can see the bags under his eyes, but he smiles at himself because today, he will give Hongjoong his best smiles. He will smile at Hongjoong so he can reassure his boyfriend that he is okay, he will be okay, and _he will be happy_.

Mingi doesn’t know that if he can actually_ be happy_. He spends six years of his life full of Hongjoong’s embers that burn slow and shine brightly that never fails to warm Mingi’s heart and shine his life. Mingi becomes intoxicated with Hongjoong gentle touch that always been as soft as the sunlight peeking through the cloud after the rain and decorated it afterwards with a rainbow. Hongjoong teaches Mingi how to love and Mingi learns how to love when he doesn’t know how to love after his parent's divorce makes him believe that love is a liability that he doesn’t need. Hongjoong makes love feels like breathing and changes Mingi's view about love and becomes a lover that loves his lover with all of his loves and tenderly. Hongjoong loves has become the only thing that Mingi addicted too.

Even when Hongjoong colours slowly change from bright ruby to grayscale and when his dark eyes slowly lost his shines. Hongjoong will always full of love. Even when breathing maybe not that easy and natural for Hongjoong but his love for Mingi is always been easy and natural. Hongjoong still feels ecstatic after Mingi shows him the gold band, even though these days he met the people with the white uniforms more than he met Mingi. But Kim Hongjoong has always full of love and never once has makes Mingi feel the less of his love.

The notification sounds coming from his phone stop Mingi from his trains of thought. Mingi knows the content of the message even he doesn’t know who sends it, because he knows everyone might waiting for him because he only has 30 minutes before _it_ started. However, Mingi just ignores it. Mingi just wants himself full of the memories of Hongjoong. Mingi takes a look at his room again, ready to left, and he can see Hongjoong sitting on their bed, smiling brightly likes the sunlight ray in the morning and Mingi smiles back to him. His heart is aching because he knows this is might the last day he can see Hongjoong beautiful face and his small smile.

“I love you, _always and forever._” Mingi whispered, and he no longer can see Hongjoong on their bed. Mingi smiles even though he can feel tears pooling around his eyes but for today, he only wants to smile because Mingi doesn’t want to be drowned with his emotion. Hongjoong hates when Mingi is sad because it makes Hongjoong feels sad too. So today, Mingi will not make his angel feels sad. Even his lovely angel can't see it, but he knows Hongjoong can feel it.

Mingi grabs the white roses bouquet mix with Hongjoong’s favourite flower, the baby breath before he locks the door of their home. Mingi knows he will be just fine, like what Hongjoong wishes him before his last breath.

> _To: Mingi_  
_From: Jongho_
> 
> _8.30 a.m_  
_Hyung where are you? Hongjoong hyung funeral will start soon. Do you want me to come pick you up?_


End file.
